My friend Linda sent me a link on Amazon that listed Sweet Valley High books for as low as a penny, which seems like a steal until the shipping comes up to nearly 4 dollars. But since my goal was to read the entire series from beginning to end, I had to start somewhere and I had not yet come across books 1 and 2, so I ordered them.
When book 1 arrived, I looked at the cover and an old feeling came back to me, the one that feels like the girls looking back at me were not all that identical. I started reading book 1, and questions began forming. If Jessica and Elizabeth are supposed to be so "dazzling," why are they described as being 5'6 and a size 6? 5'6 does not usually garner a "dazzling." 5'6 is considered average height for a female. And a size 6 isn't fat, but for someone that's average in height, it isn't super skinny either. The twins blond hair and blue green eyes are mentioned several times...wouldn't this also make them look like a trillion other "California girls"? I kept reading, having totally forgotten about the part where Jessica stole the keys out of Elizabeth's pocket and the part where they revealed Elizabeth to be the reporter of they mysterious Eyes and Ears column. Which lead me to question two things: why do people find Elizabeth so trustworthy, even after they find out she writes a gossip column and also, if the writer of the column is supposed to be such a big secret, why spill it in the very first book?
When I was in fifth grade, I just knew I was reading smut. I also got a library copy of Jaws taken away in fifth grade, not knowing if it was because I'd been reading it behind my geography book or because it had a picture of a nekid lady on the cover. Jaws was more graphic than anything happening in Sweet Vally. But I was 10, I had no idea how simple Sweet Valley High books really were.
Some time went by between when I finished book 1 and when book 2 arrived. Book 2 had a "reissued" cover. I didn't remember much of book 2 but when I opened it, my mouth fell open too. By page seven, I had come across the name brands Roxey, Ralph Lauren, Louis Vittion and several others. People were gossiping about Jessica and sending pictures of her around on their camera phones. What the hell? I looked at the original publishing date...1986. There were no cell phones in 1986, at least not in wide use by people in high school. The primitive cell phone was the size of a loaf of bread and did not take pictures. In 1986 not only did 16 year old juniors in high school not have cell phones, they barely had cordless phones.
I called my friend Linda in disbelief. "LINDA, what the hell?!" "What the hell what?" "Dude, there's product placement in the new Sweet Valley High." "WHAT?!!!" The reaction I was looking for, my friend was equally appalled. We had no idea the series had been reinvented to include modern technology and modern clothing labels, especially since the originals feature no real name brands at all, except for the names of the auto manufactures that made the cars the characters drive. It is well documented the twins drive a Fiat Spider and Bruce Patman drives a Porsche. It is noted over and over that they are both rich and spoiled but it is never mentioned by name the brand clothing they wore, even though in '86 Lila Fowler was probably wearing Gloria Vanderbilts and Bruce Patman was probably wearing Calvin Klein and not Ralph Lauren.
As off put as I was by the camera phones and messenger bags, I found myself feeling like everything was slightly more realistic this time around. Yeah, the word strode is widely over used, but mostly everybody seemed liked teenagers and not like cast members of The Golden Girls. I've never used the word wonderful to describe anything when I was 16, but more than once I thought a boy was hot.
Along with current clothing labels, everybody's appearances seem to have gotten slightly updated. Of course they have, it's life in a Southern California town and it's a whole new millennium; anybody that was previously unattractive could have just been the recipient of a nose job for their birthday. Enid Rollins isn't a carrot topped troll anymore and why wouldn't Lila, daughter of George Fowler, "one of the richest men in Sweet Valley," would have fresh highlights? The times, they have 'a changed. I realized to get the full effect of the modernized Sweet Valley, or SV as it now known, I'd have to read the entire reissued series and that's a mission of a whole other variety. I am slightly intrigued, I keep wondering how long it will take Jessica to get a tramp stamp?
I hated the reissue initially for being inauthentic, with its product placement and updated slang but I liked it because it had current references, things that were around when I was coming of age, things that are still current. Enid was part of a hit and run while being jacked on weed, Ecstasy and vodka; I can't even remember what the original book said because I haven't come across it yet and because it's been over 20 years since I've read it. That makes me feel really old because I know it's really been more than 20 years since I've read it. In 5th grade I would have been 10 years old, so it's actually been almost 23 years. But even when reading the books the first time through, I didn't feel like the twins or any of their friends were ever quite normal. After doing some research on Francine Paschal, I learned she modeled Jessica and Elizabeth after her own twin daughters. It kind of put everything into context, the books are written not like somebody who was 16 in the 80's but by somebody that had teenagers in the 80's, which may also explain the lack of product placement...somebody may just not have taken the time to know what was popular at the time. (Aqua Net hair spray and The Bangles).
23 years ago Elizabeth Wakefield didn't have a laptop, she had a typewriter; I had one too, it belonged to my great-grandfather. But new Elizabeth has a laptop and I related to her because I had a laptop and the majority of the people I know have them. Laptops and even more so computers in general aren't the novelties they used to be, they are widely available at Wal-Mart and even K Mart. I'm surprised they didn't get mentioned though, just about every where else did, including Ambercrombe and Fitch.
The revised SVH also had Oliva listening to her iPod. Her what? Back in the day she would have had a Walkman, the books being so old that CDs wouldn't become popular for another 5 years. I remember in a Sweet Valley Twins book mention of Jessica's record player. You just know New Jessica isn't still listening to records and that even though it is New Elizabeth with the laptop, she'd never download music she didn't pay for.
It took a while to feel comfortable with this new version of life. If Jessica and Elizabeth were real, they'd be approaching their 40th birthday. They would have lived through records, tapes, CDs and they'd probably both really have MP3 players of some sort because just about everybody does; I know a 4 year-old that has one. Elizabeth surely would have moved from pen and paper, to a typewriter to a laptop because almost everybody has a computer, including my grandma who's 82.
The original books captivated me because things were happening in Sweet Valley that just weren't happening in my own life. Girls still liked boys and boys liked girls, but pretty much nobody was doing anything about it. Even the ones of us that had older siblings didn't have ones that were old enough to drive, Porches, Fiats or other wise. We didn't have messenger bags, we were carrying back packs, over one shoulder to look cool. Later we'd find out just how bad for the back this really is.
Part of me doesn't need Elizabeth and Jessica to be cool though. They weren't cool, even in their day, no matter how hard Jessica tried, lest she should ever forget her days in the Unicorn Club. But part of me understands that although people know what a Porsche is and for all the series' updates, Bruce is still driving one, nobody knows what the hell a Fiat is.
